Old Rugged Cross

Dear Aunt Alice,

Wow - it's been awhile since I've been able to write! The last two times I got on the internet, I couldn't get Blogger to work, so it hasn't been for a lack of trying.

I didn't bring any cds with me and I left my MP3 player at home as well. I pretty much regretted that about 12 hours after landing in Lusaka (I was too tired the first 12 hours to care about anything!). I did get two cds in the mail (thank you, Lauren Lee of KLOVE), but not until May, so I've spent a lot of time without music. To pass the time while doing dishes, etc., I've been singing and most of the time, the songs in my head are old hymns.

Today, I baked cookies for our weekly potluck and then, while doing dishes, couldn't stop singing, "The Old Rugged Cross." The line that hit me the hardest was, "it's shame and reproach gladly bear." I've sung those words millions of times, but today, for some reason, it occurred to me that I really haven't always lived them. I've been far too concerned with what people might think of me. Jesus died a cruel and painful death because of my sinfulness, yet at times, I find myself wondering what others will think when I boldly proclaim my allegiance to the Lord.

Ouch.