Singleness

Dear Aunt Alice,

Family rumor has it that you were engaged once and that the engagement ended not long before you left for NW Rhodesia. I can't help but wonder if you felt the same struggle that I now feel - the desires of wanting to be a wife and mother, but knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that your Husband has called you, your Lord has beckoned and that you simply must respond in obedience. I haven't ended an engagement, but I do know that leaving in January will mean that I will lose a chance I had somewhat hoped to see come to fruition. But, the call of Christ is stronger and must be followed. To stay when He has said to go would be unthinkable and so, I know that His answer in that situation is no. Whether another chance will ever arise, I do not know, but I do know that He will be faithful and that He will guide my way.

In many ways, the hardest part of going overseas is the voice in the back of my mind that feeds me lies, lies that tell me that in staying I'll find an earthly husband or that I'll never be truly content unless I marry. So often, I find myself focused on the dream of a husband and family more than on serving the One who saved me, the One to whom I owe my all. I know that He is all that I will ever need, but there are days when I struggle to believe that truth.

Thank you for providing me with an example of a single woman who gave her life in service to the Lord. Thank you for being faithful to follow Him to NW Rhodesia and beyond. Thank you for being an example I can cling to on days when I wonder if I'll simply fade into obscurity if I never become a mother. I firmly believe that the reason God has allowed me to learn more about your life than He has allowed me to learn about the life of your sister, my great-grandmother, is that He wanted me to see that He chooses what legacies He wants passed down - not us and not merely genetics. A life truly devoted to Christ will leave behind a legacy of faith - no matter whether that person ever parents a child. I pray that I will leave behind a legacy of faith that, like yours, will spur others on to follow the Lord.